Todays ramblings

Well there is always a crazy amount to do.
September sales are down, store rent and house mortgage is due in October, & there’s credit cards to pay off.
The house still needs nearly as much work as it did a year ago. Winter is fast approaching, is supposed to be worse, & we barely made it through last year.
I need LOTS of insulation & plastic sheeting before winter!
My van is making scary noises & there’s no money to fix/replace it. I can’t even afford an oil change.
My phone (which is a major tool for my business) is all sorts of messed up and must be replaced by the 21st according to my cell provider.  That is more I dont have, not mention my plan price will go up because they were “bought by AT&T so the old towers are being shut down-causing the cell problems.”
I needed to LOWER my bill not be required to RAISE it. 😦

So I am looking at my options. I need to sit down and come up with new totals of all owed. And somehow how cut our costs even more.

I already do not use heat/air/lights when the kids aren’t home. I walk around in the dark freezing. I am going to take all my sewing equipment to the mall to use their utilities instead of ours here too soon. (Right now Im just not sewing so I dont use up utilities.)

We already do not have any “extras” at all– no cable, internet, etc. Although I do have internet on my phone to access my business page from home so I can reply to customers(& post these blog posts). THAT will most likely have to be completely DROPPED. $10 is $10. & I plan to go with my cheapest possible options.

And I am looking into renting out rooms again(my seeing & fabric rooms). It hasnt worked out before because people want a house that is totally remodeled AND has stuff like wifi & laundry if they have to pay rent-even if as little as $200/mth. Any less & I cant even cover their added utilities! (not that $200 will in the winter!) And what would I do if they move in & refuse to pay?? It could end up costing me MORE money.

So. Its going to take a lot of sit down & mapping.

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Personal Update

I’m working myself way too hard; I can feel it- somewhere over 80hrs/week for sure (im at the mall store over 40hrs just on weekends) of mostly manual labor without breaks. It is hard to keep track past that. I didn’t take Tuesday off this week and I’m paying for it. I’m getting very little sleep-up to 6hrs if I’m lucky.
And this week I also spent a lot of house cleaning to do on top of it.

I’m also stressing because my kids are about to leave for a week. All these years, and I still have no idea how I survive these periods. It’s always major stress the week before- dreading them leaving, packing their things, trying to remember HOW I survived it in the past, & listening to kids tell me they don’t want to go & they want to stay home breaks my heart.

My heart stuff is worse. My monitor is going off several times per day & there is a tightness in my chest & neck that keeps gradually getting worse. It’s affecting me turning my head.  But I just have to keep going.

Today I need to make BIGGER signs for my Lindenwald store, saying we are at the mall-people have said they didnt see our smaller signs- & pack up some of the stuff from there to take to the mall. I’ll probably take all the rest of the maternity, all the bigger boys clothes, the mens clothes, all my cloth diapers, & at least most of the shoes. I don’t have boxes, & my mall store is already super packed, & I only slept 5 1/2hrs so this will be interesting….

I have to pack the boys’ suitcases still, I have a giant home AC/heat pump in the back of my van that I have to figure out how to get out&upstairs, and I have to be back at home by 3pm for my kids to be picked up, so this will be quite a task.

The pain in my chest is somewhat bareable but hurts. & I’m definitely stiff& my joints are hurting pretty bad. Everyone preaches about how I should be in bed, yet no one is willing or “able” to help me without $$$ (a neighbor did weed whip our back yard jungle, thanks!) which means I have to just keep going by myself while trying to detangle 3 hyper & emotional boys underfoot. And ironically, while they are gone, it will be much harder to function. Being a mom for over 1/2 my life, I can’t focus as well & lose my drive when they are gone.

I’m on meds that are supposed to raise my “dangerously low” iron & vitanin levels, but I feel worse, not better(that Dr was supposed to be looking in to admitting me for transfusions for that & severe dehydration over a month ago & call me back, but I guess forgot about me). & I of course need inpatient heart surgery so the delay on that probably explains a lot.  I’ve gained at least 10lbs in the past month too-I guess from stress.

But, ok. I’m done pouting now. I gotta suck it up & get moving- its already 7:20am!

Welcome July

I spent 13 hours straight the other day reorganizing the entire store, and there is still A LOT to do. But here are today’s pictures:

Now I just need to figure out how to get MORE people to realize I AM HERE! 😉

100% screwed.

On our way home from thr dr & to the grocery store, my van locked up&my caution lights died in the middle of traffic in a rain storm.

Long story short-van dead. mechanic cant even look at it til late tomorrow.
i have NO money at all even if its fixable.
no way to work, grocery-anywhere.
no work=no potential $$.
no help.
Im 100% SCREWED!!

Happy 34th bday to me…

I do not understand why the hardwr I try in life, the worse things get!

Opening TODAY

Well, I signed the lease the end of last week, & immediately started packing and moving one minivan load at a time by myself.

I am worn out.  I didn’t get everything finished that I wanted to. But today is our 1st day. I have a lot more to do, but I will just have to work on it throughout the day/weekend.

We will be open every weekend through June. By we, I mean me, working everything by myself while my boys run around & hopefully dont cause trouble…

We shall see how this goes…

# ok God, this is all You. Show the world what You can do…#

Only 4 days…

I spent the weekend moving stuff over by myself. Around the clock-very little sleep.

I am trying not to think about how alone I am in all this & how terrifying it all is.  The few who I thought I could trust, bailed. I have no money left-it is sunk into this 1st month.

I open in 4 days, on Friday. I have to finish & mail orders before then, get more racks, and make signs, as well as steam & tag several thousand clothing items…

I don’t know if/how we will make it over today. Or how I will get finished enough for this weekend. I don’t think I will have enough tagging strips to price everything- I only have 1,000. Not everything will get steamed by then-there’s no way.

But all I can do is try to do as much as I can.

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Not For The Faint Hearted

It has been so stressful to get all this moving-especially by myself with my kids in tow.

I picked a space at the mall that seems perfect, picked a new store name/parent company, became an LLC, registered it all for taxes, bought 400+ fancy wooden hangers, & several meetings later….. the city contacts me & says my type of business is not allowed in that space.

So. more calls to the mall & city calls, & now I have to wait til
W E D N E S D A Y
& go look at 5 more spaces…

I was already walking in blind faith– no idea where the money was going to come from for the 1,945 sq ft space, & now I find myself about to look at spaces DOUBLE that size!!

It’s either I go bigger or smaller, & I can’t fit all this stock in anything smaller… 3662, 4393, 4093 sq ft…

But how on Earth could this possibly work?? How do I make this work when we currently live on about $900/mth??!! This move could potentially increase our income by 90%. BUT it all requires already having money. I tried crowd funding (link in the topic bar along top of page) but it hasn’t really worked. And no one is going to give me a loan. And I have no family, etc of course. How can I make this work?

I have pending orders that need made, so really the biggest thing I have come up with is working non-stop through this 3 day weekend.
Which brings up more stress– no fun time with my kids & no way to buy year end teacher gifts–as that requires time & money…

This new store will help us soooo much. A- I can get all the stock out of our house so we can move in here again… B- I can then rent out rooms to help bring in funds… C- work & home can be seperate so I can focus on just home stuff when not working…. D- it will bring in income in a way my kids can be with me-the only legal way since I cant use childcare….E- the bigger the shop, the more stock I can offer for sale at once–no more putting out 10% of stock, hoping the sizes I put out will be what customers need that week, & having to constantly trade out items in case its not–in other words, less required busy work & more time for sewing so I can fill more orders, more quickly.  Yes. For once in my life, I’m focusing on the positives instead of what could go wrong…

….But where do I get the $$??!!  I can’t believe I am only $2,000-3,000 from making this work… there has to be something I can do FAST… if I wait to much longer, all the summer stock Ive prepped for this will be useless & Ill have to start all over again with winter stock. So. I need the money by the deadline THIS WEEK….