Hey! I’m still alive!

I’m still alive!! lol!

Wow soooo much has happened. Some major crises, some  positive, & LOTS of changes!

The BIGGEST change with the store is I moved! We got out of the dead mall and into a much busier area & larger store 6 mths ago. We are now 8,000sq ft!

That has been a rollar coaster on its own. Especially now with having 2 of m just my children about 90% of the time (accept when they are at school of course) and 1, 100% of the time. I can’t go into detail obviously as to why. Thomas, now 13yrs old just graduated from a partial hospital program after a year of treatment for Trauma & PTSD and is now going to Junior High School full time just last week! I’m so excited for him and the amazing changes he has made. He has blossomed so much- he’s learned social skills and has friends. He’s learning to speak up for himself and that his rights/desires matter no matter where he is. He even did cross country this school year and is currently in Drama Club, as well as a few different church groups. His fears, nightmares, etc are gone. I am so proud of his healing & growth. Now that he is 13 though, I am preparing for the hormonal mess that will come SOON. (Luckily I’ve survived it twice already and know what to expect.) 😉

My oldest, Michael, will be 22 this year and is currently enlisted, active duty & unfortunately we haven’t seen him in about a year. He gave me a necklace before he left a couple years ago and I have never taken it off since. It has become a symbol to strength/to remind me to stay strong.

Christopher is now 16 and in NJROTC, 2nd year. He is still the sweet, caring young man he has always been. Andrew is now 11, meaning I don’t have any LITTLES anymore! They are all growing up super fast- preteens and up!

I haven’t gotten a lot done to our house. But I have a few things in the works * hope to start some major things soon.

So the store. I am still working alone and just this month am starting to feel the work piling on as we are starting to get busier and busier. Hoping it keeps up! 8,000sq ft is A LOT to do alone, so I gotta keep growing in order to hire help. I will try to add some pictures on here if I can figure our how again. 😉

find the store on facebook and google under “Bee U Retail”



New store picture in this post is a little older, but all I have on my computer right now. 😉



It’s been a long while since I have been on here! I’d like to say I’m RICH now but I’ve reinvested all profit right back into the business. 😉

I still run 6500sq ft by myself with 3 kids in tow. (Michael is all grown up & in the Army now far far away.) Christopher is 15 now & in NJROTC. Thomas is doing much better. Andrew is about to see a special Dr due to “nodules” growing in his lymph nodes. Apparently this can just be “normal.” I’ve set my current store’s stock room up kinda like an apt-it has a twin bed, full size frig, microwave, coffee maker, tv/vcr, etc-to keep the kids entertained at work.

We have grown to the LARGEST Consignment store that sells ALL SIZES for everyone. I have awesome customers & consignors from as far away as 4hrs.

BUT alas, I am in the middle of a dead mall with no signs. I have hit a glass ceiling on our growth here. Its really bitter sweet-the kids have had a blast discovering all the hidden places inside the dead mall & really have a lot to do there.

But with the ancor stores planning on moving & the no signs part, its A LOT of leg work to get people to realize we are in there.

So its time to move on!

I’m moving my packed 6,500sq ft store to TRICOUNTY, where I will an ancor store @ 8,000sq ft. & reading old messages from 2yrs ago, its JUST as scary! Lol it makes the last move seem soooo tiny!

All my regular customers & consignors are super excited & tellme I am going to do so much better.

A– VERY busy area& high visibility

B–NO competition(upscale/higher rents keep other resale shops away)

C– still right off 275 (which has been a lucky accident for current location/easy access from all over the Tristate)

I started moving everything April 1st & I’d say Ive moved about 1/4…i have 1 month left to move the rest, be dully set up, & open. Gulp. Starting out I assume will be tough but once I get everything going I can finally hire help and take some breathing room.

It’s scary to put EVERYTHING on the line like this. To know that in 6mths, I will either be much better off OR have completely failed and lost everything. Very scary. But the cross road has come and there really wasn’t another viable option except this next leap.

My mission is still the same. To support my family & to help others do the same. To break down stereotypes and show others they aren’t what the world labels them.



Our pipes broke & flooded our basement 2 weeks ago. I used the money I had saved up for the store & to go see my oldest son in the army to fix them.
I have tried to think positive — at least I had the money at all. Today I woke up, after leaving all water running since & it being 75 in our house, to busted pipes & flooded basement AGAIN.

We fall through every crack for help. & between this kinda stuff EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. And people’s negative comments toward anyone who actually TRIES to be self sufficient vs living off others & the government is just too much.

Its amazing the hate mail I get because I’m NOT living in section 8 housing on welfare.

Then add the trolls who have nothing better to do than post negative comments on my business ads. People who know nothing about me yet stumbled across my ads & decide to post lies just for fun.

I’m out of money. I’ve tried & failed. My business is just FINALLY turning a “profit” but not enough to cover all this kinda stuff. I was SO.CLOSE.

To top it off my kids look me in the eye & tell me things like “I only feel safe with YOU mommy.” & counselors etc have taken steps on this. I can’t go into detail but its going to be VERY HARD to stand up & say I’m confident in keeping them “safe” tomorrow when I can’t do simple things like keep our pipes from busting.

I already feel like a FAILURE at everything & if you are one of the NEGATIVE PEOPLE who have nothing better to do then bash me and MY THOUGHTS & FEELINGS THAT I HAVE A RIGHT TO HAVE know YOU are directly responsible for destroying those like me who have actually TRIED in life AND you are also directly responsible for DISCOURAGING OTHERS FROM TRYING!!!

It’s sad that there’s more people out to DESTROY in this world then those trying to blaze a new path & SUPPORT those who are trying.

I have seen that people read into more than what’s there because they have issues within THEIR SELF & make assumptions in their bashing that make no sense, about things not even stated.

I have NEVER PUT DOWN ANYONE. I’ve stated some things CONFUSE me. I’ve stated I AM THANKFUL in a way for NOT having things handed to me my whole life. But I have NEVER, NOT ONCE ATTACKED OR TORN APART ANYONE FOR THEIR LIFE CHOICES!

But in the end it doesn’t matter. There are ALWAYS people around to attack/bash every single thing you try to do.

I work all.the.time. Theres no breaks. Theres no down time. Theres no friends or significant others or family around who can are willing to stick around. Everything is constant multi-tasking, including every post I post, here, on my phone, while trying to act like “everythings gonna be fine” while getting kids ready for school. But its not. I have kept HOPE that if I just keep doing the right thing & trying harder every day, that things would get BETTER.

It’s getting harder & harder to hold on to that hope….

My Business: Where I started to Where I am TODAY. (in pictures)

Step #1 was online, so not really a “photo” of that. 😉

Step #2: 10806194_396225083879137_8063November 2013. About 200sq ft.

Step #3: 10348598_316649398503373_6367482579850418003_n June 2014. About 1300sq ft.

Step #4: wpid-img_20140713_210834.jpgwpid-img_20140713_211216.jpg10587097_949528181740869_2010674408_o August 2014. 6,300+ sq ft. NOTE: These photos are a bit old. I have this store PACKED now. And still PLENTY of potential consignors waiting to sign up. The list is currently closed, as I am in the process of taking over some other local shops- moving each into MY boutique. I have been pretty backed up and am looking into hiring help. (A whole new thing to learn!) Customers come from an hour or more away because I carry ALL sizes. Today, a family stated they drove over 2 HOURS to get here. It is EXCITING to see how many families are helped via my store.

STEP #5:    ……………… WHAT IS NEXT FOR US?????

All I can say is I definitely want to continue in a way that not only supports my household, but also the community! I dream of the day I am financially large enough to start giving back to the area in even BIGGER ways. I am eagerly looking for how to get to that day!

…Is This My Next Leap of Faith??

I came into this year just KNOWING somehow that THIS year is MY YEAR. But IDK what exactly that means!
Is it business? relationships? my home? everything???

Well, as those who know me know, God has to forcibly SHOVE me outa my current situation a lot of times, in a very drastic way to get me to SEE the NEXT LEVEL He has for me! That time may just be RIGHT NOW!! I have been pushed closer to the edge of the leap a couple times and now I am VERY close to having to make the choice to leap or not.

I HATE  not knowing the outcome ahead of time! The higher the risk the harder the choices are. It is difficult to plan for those “what ifs” when they are GIANT. I keep my word and follow through. I do NOT like to make deals based on “if” something works out! I do NOT like owing anyone money for that same reason.

BUT those the the things that FORCE the type of person I am to FULFILL them!

For example my house. An investor and a bank took a giant risk pushing through an “as is” conventional mortgage for someone who couldn’t show HOW I was going to pay! Now we have a HUGE, 4,000 sq ft home in a great historic neighborhood, for less than a 1 bedroom apartment. I made that deal, and you better believe I am NEVER going to mess that up!

So, here I am at another possible cross road. I am talking another H U G E leap of faith! The biggest yet. I am STRONGER now. I am as determined as ever. And let’s face it. It is who I am! I am ALWAYS looking for the next step. The next glass ceiling. The next thing that the world says I CAN’T do!

Please join me in prayer over this current situation. Thank you.

Life Can Change In An Instant.

Last Wednesday started out like any other Wednesday morning. Christopher(14) looked just fine. He headed off to school just like any other day. I got the other 2 up and off to school an hour later, then settled in to bed, after being sick since Saturday evening, hoping to get some rest before heading back to work. Finally I was going to REST and give myself some time to heal.

That is when everything changed. The school called. Christopher had something major going on with his heart, couldn’t feel his legs, heart rate 168, purple, clammy, etc. He needed to go to the hospital IMMEDIATELY!  He had just been sitting in class when it happened. No history of heart issues.

After a day at the hospital, he is stable and doing ok. They rules out all the basics, like medications or panic attack etc.  This week will be full of countless heart tests. He isn’t allowed to do anything “active” so he has basically just sitting next to me. I am supposed to keep him “calm”….. yeah… a 14 year old hormonal teen. That is right there with trying to “calm” an active volcano… 😉

More info late when we find out what is going on…