Mom@14

I became a mother via rape, just after my 14th birthday. When I refused abortion, I was disowned and left to “our” way in the world.

***Let me pause for a moment and say, I NEVER thought differently of my son.   NOT ONCE. He was and has always been just mine. 100%. I never thought of that guy. I never “saw him” in my son, like so many tried to say would happen because of his conception.  My son did not CHOOSE his conception, so WHY should he be forced to suffer the punishment?!   I decided I would give my everything to give him everything he did/does deserve.  Although I was not a Christian,  was not raised in a Christian home, and quite honestly knew nothing about God/Jesus at all back then, I KNEW my son had a purpose- he was not some “accident.” He was not some “mess” to clean up. ***

Now, to continue,  I was too young to even get a job(had to be 16 back then), so I supported us by collecting change off the inner city streets-  around bus stops, phone booths, drive throughs etc, all with my little guy strapped to my chest.  I didn’t realize it then, but God was providing all our needs, coin by coin.

I was spit on, called names, and worse, for being young and pregnant, it really hurt because I wanted to tell them I didn’t CHOOSE this, but I knew they wouldn’t listen- so I fought on, taking the city bus an hour one way to/from school from a homeless shelter each day, my son strapped to my chest (nearly 9lbs at birth/I was 115lbs)and my school bag strapped on my back. I went to the daycare across the street and breast fed my son between classes and during my lunch hour.  No excuses.

I didn’t know what “attachment parenting” was back then.  All I knew is my sick little guy thrived from my connection.  I read every parenting book I could get my hands on- that is how I learned to be a mother. To this day, I’m still very “by the book.”

But I STILL finished high school, got a business Voc degree, and bought my own house by age 19, with out using welfare.

Though at that point I got “dumb.”  To make a long story short, I got married and spent about 13 years in a very bad relationship, where I was cut off from life.  It doesn’t happen all at once. It starts out PERFECT, and gradually, so gradually it’s nearly unnoticeable, things change.  You fully believe it’s you.

January 2010, & 6 more little boys later,  my life was given back to me and I was pleasantly surprised that strong willed fighting soul was still there.  (I lost 3 little boys/have 4 living.)

I went back to school (Miami University), rented a small house, and got us on our feet.

Now, we have a bigger house, in the “inner city” of a small town, close to all the little city charm and festivities- its quite nice.  It’s funny to listen to neighbors say “ohhhh, be careful of *INSERT NAME* they are from Cincinnati”…. – I know all about “Cincinnati” 1st hand.

& That baby at 14 I spoke about?? WELL! I’m pleased to report that what Satan means for evil, GOD can change for GOOD!

He is very active in our community, very musically talented, an ACP student, senior football player, AND has been accepted at SEVERAL Christian Colleges across the country- he is going for Pastoral Studies!

Not to mention he is absolutely gorgeous- tall, built, blonde, blue… (SEE PAGE:  “Michael”)

He has actually did some public speaking about his side of  life/conception.

4 thoughts on “Mom@14

  1. 😦 I just read this after reading about your boys. You have been through so much! Bless your heart girl! Do you have a “blog button”? I will put on my site to link up to your shop for you.

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