N2 Our Final AUG Weekend

Well, moving from the 1,300sq ft store to the 6,300 sq ft store, was the best move.  I am still running negative, but sales have doubled since the move. Of course, because I am still negative, I need to figure out a way to BOOST views, customers, etc ASAP!!

I already use Facebook, twitter, many others, and even craigs list. I have no money at all for any other advertising. And I am running out of ideas. It will still be awhile before news/newspapers etc are interested in my story.

I also need more racks (& help) etc. But there is no $$$ for any of it. So I am still just hopping around the store on my 1 good leg, over heating, but just keep going.

I am hoping this month will begin our turn around.




I get a kick out of people who think running your own business is easier than working for someone else. I knew how much work Id have to put in before hand because I took classes etc & started online, and gradually stepped up.

If it were easy EVERY one would not do it but succeed! I was already dealing with a full schedule but now am having to work myself so hard for no pay that my body is literally falling apart. It is a race to see which will happen 1st, my success or my final life altering break.

When I started this just a few short months ago, I was healthy & on zero pills. Now I’m on over a 1/2 dozen- for my heart, blood levels, etc. & of course the damage to my right knee, which is causing pain everywhere else due the rest of my body trying to compensate. I also put on stress weight-not from eating;  Im not eating much at all.

The store is coming together. Sales have doubled & are climbing but not as fast as they need to. I can’t even afford AC. 
Thats a race too– if things aren’t high enough before the weather  turns, I won’t have any way to be our personal heat bill. We barely made it through last year & lost 1/2 our plumbing to freezing pipes that I still cant afford to fix.

Also I wont even go into how many other important things I havent gotten to because there is just no.more.time. 

Yesterday, the boys chipped in-my 8yr old changed my sheets&pillow cases, & my 10yr old cut the grass with rotary cutter. (I haven’t checked the grass yet-but it couldnt have been worse than the overgrown mess that was out there.)
While I worked on laundry, cat baths, vacuuming, etc.

Today is another “off day.” We only have 1 appt this afternoon & the rest of the day will be filled with more house work. My kids are in school about 5 hrs today, & then have church tonight. I have to get stuff caught up but Im so exhausted it is affecting everything.

So Much Pain.

I am in so much pain. My left knee is starting to hurt the same way this right one started. And back is cramping up. But the pain in my right knee is insane!! I had to take the brace off in order to drive to my son’s unmissable appt an hour away. (& I have to do it again next week!). i can’t take the stupid Rxs they gave me bc AFTER I pick them up Walgreens decides to tell me I cant drive til 24hrs after i take the pill!!
I HAVE TO DRIVE EVERY DAY!! If its not the kids appts, its work! That also means I have choice but to take the brace off to drive- even with the torn meniscous&stress fractures!
I. Have. NO ONE!! Its beating down on me pretty hard right now. There is not one person I can call for help! Not.even.one.  And I obviously have no money so hiring anyone is not an option.
But gee. Dead beat getto mom after another-getting handed everything for nothing more than pouting for the billionth time! “We dont have furniture so heres my Gofund me accnt”– next day $1000s if freaking dollars for a mom with s dozen kids by all different dads who refuses to work– & has lost 1/2 for neglect! Guess what. We dont have furniture either. Im literally falling apart bc Im working so hard for my kids, but NO ONE CARES.

Im literally crawling around to still take care of my kids & all my other responsibilities. But I’m alone. Like Ive always been. Right now I have no idea how I’ll get through the pain to get the kids up, dressed, off to school, & to/through work. I’m so tired. Everything hurts so bad. So many years of this crap. Im invisible.
Im soooo hungry but have no strength left to get down stairs& across the house again- It took all I had earlier for the kids.
Im tired but cant sleep. The more I try to lay here, the worse the pain gets.
Take the brace off at night? Theres.no.freaking.way. Theres no surviving THAT pain.
Keep icing it? HOW??!! I dont keep ice in my room& cant get 5mins to sit down when the kids are up. If I could make it to the kitchen, I would EAT.  ….I have to go grocery shopping ASAP too…. even if I survive the store, how am I supposed to get everything from the van, up 2 sets of stairs& inside??!!

I just dont understand…

I Finally Broke.

Well I finally broke. I have limping around for a week or 2 with knee pain that was greating worse. Then my knee popped& swelled.
Apparently I limped myself through my kids’ open houses, including having to park blocks away & hike to/from, with a torn meniscous, and possible stress fractures in my right knee.
I have an hour drive each way for an extremely important appt at Childrens Hospital for my son that I cant miss-it can’t be rescheduled-we already waited a year for it,  but I can’t bend my right leg.  I of course have no family etc to help, so this will be interesting. 😦

So, I will be hobbling around some how, still doing everything I have to by myself somehow. This is just another obstacle in my path…


1st Weekend In Bigger Store

I still am considering this our “soft opening”– still working out kinks& have to change hours in 2 weeks when school starts back. Still have pricing, stocking, etc to do.

But hey, I built a 6300+sq ft store. By myself. I just look around & can’t tell you how. …& I can’t explain how this all fit in my HOUSE! LOL!

Anyway, this weekend had its curve balls, but sales were great. If this keeps up, then this was definitely the right move.

I ran all my #s (& my personal finances show it), this was definitely an investment! I litterally even had to roll every coin in our change jar. The guilt from that is tremedous as it was supposed to be for a vacation & even my kids put their change in it. 😦

June was very negative, July a little less, so I’m just praying it keeps getting better- which it looks like it will. But right now, I have no money… actually Im negative money. I can’t afford any of the stuff I really need for the business, & am struggling to find funds to even pay my home utility bill. And the stress has me broken out in hives, I’ve gained about 20lbs, & my heart etc are suffering to the point of medications & possible surgeries.

Most can’t live like this, & I see why so many fail. I am just holding my breathe, waiting to surface. I will NOT let this fail!

1/2 of store(it cant all fit in 1 pic anymore)