MY LIFE…

There is a link below that is a lot like my life- I thought I’d share. Except I’m a single mom, & add a billion Dr & therapy appts tossed in, & of course restoring the house & running a business.
(& DONT get me started on all the steriotypes DUMPED on me every single day I have to fight. Or the death threats. OR how many times my tires have been slashed in these 4yrs Ive been single.)
Even when I was married, I was expected to do all the things in the article alone 99% of the time too, so becoming single really wasn’t a giant leap in that aspect.

My 2 youngest are less than 2yrs apart & I cloth diapered 3 at once (newborn, 2yrs, & 5 and on) & extended breast fed. I have also always had multiple kids at multiple schools.  So the story link below is quite relatable for me. I never got breaks, unless you count the hour of church a week (after hrs of prep to get there). & even then I was constantly called out to nurse a baby or change a cloth diaper, or tend to crying.  

《《Regular daycares & sitters are not equipped to deal with my children’s special needs. Daycare assistance has NO providers on their list trained for special needs.  The lowest quote I have ever gotten for childcare was $20/hr(& that person was scary!)– subtract that from your hourly wage after taxes–& don’t forget to add drive time. It’s why I live the way I do. I weigh every option in every direction before I choose a path.》》

Actually- my life is basically the same still, even with the kids being older. None are in diapers, but I still deal with ‘accidents’ & still have a cryer, a bolter, & at least 1 climber(see link below). Thankfully, we are now at a church with an amazing special needs program…but its still hours of prep, & an hour round trip driving,  for an hour of church.

I’m a neat freak and organizer- clutter makes me litterally feel sick. I get overstimulated & overwhelmed by mess.  But I have 3 boys left at home who lack the understanding of WHY they cant follow behind me undoing all my work: I put all the books neatly on the bookshelf, *some unknown ghost* immediately pulls them out all over again…
I pick up all the toys etc *no one* got out, and in the time it takes to walk to another room and back, the toys are BACK, and also filled hampers are dumped across the hall, & it looks like  a war using pet food occured- confused kids staring at me, swearing they don’t know what happened. And of course, I still have everything else on my plate- the full time job of cleaning, doesn’t actually *count* as “work.” 

《《Quotes for house cleaning are HIGHER than childcare. & the same effects occur right after.》》

AND OHHH THE PEOPLE WHO PREACH!!
The kind that NEVER physically help and have no personal experience with what I’m living, but always: “well why font u try this….” & “you should do that…”   -Like I’m a complete idiot who hasn’t already exhausted all the obvious & more.  I’m talking dozens of preachers/mth… 99.9% of those ‘shoulds’ I tried YEARS ago & it wastes time I don’t have to politely explain I’m way beyond said option, etc. (& already the reasons are slready posted in my blogs over and over.)

《《Note: I’ve been a special needs mom for nearly 2 decades. A single parent (this 2nd time) for 4years.》》

And I’m living under a long list of rules I CAN’T BREAK. EVERY decision regarding my kids must be approved by their father/ his lawyers- it doesnt matter to the court that I have them 90%. I can’t move without their consent. I can’t switch education settings, sign up for programs, add/stop therapies, hold a job, use a baby sitter- or even go on vacation without their consent. Recent example: I signed my kids up for an after school program(which to my face was ok) but then got a letter that the program was threatened they will be sued if my kids were let in, so my kids were turned away.  Money wins because it buys lawyers. And legal aid is a joke. Been there. Been there. Been.There.  (but all that also already in my blog)

I’m not in my situation because of lack of education; I followed/follow all the rules & live as pure as possible- I have a spotless record- even driving record.  (& it’ll stay that way not because of my own children, & my own morals, but also in order to fulfill my future goals. See: ’10year’ post.)

I’m the one people come to when they can’t find help/answers because I’ve already researched it all. I served on county boards for years.(& still go to meetings as possible) I went to college for it for God’s sake!

Anyway, it’s nice to come across other’s posts sometimes who understand & also not afraid to flat out say it. So here is one about what its really like to have 2 parents & 3 ‘typical’ kids (about the ages of mine):

http://shortwinded.net/so-you-would-like-to-have-three-children/

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Krohn Conservatory

I took the boys to Krohn in Cincinnati, OH for their Christmas exhibit. Its a lot smaller than it was when I was their size. 😉 They enjoyed it though & because I bought a pass, it wasnt a big deal to only stay an hour- as that is about all they could handle that day. All the overstimulation from the crowd wore them out pretty quick, so we headed outside to a calm, quiet overlook, then headed home.

Thomas loved the big fish& just had to get his photo taken with it. (below)

A family yearly pass is only $40 & covers ANY 2 adult&4kids that show up weilding your pass. Daily tickets are $7 each.  They have other special events throughout the year & all are covered on the pass.  Its also neat I can potentially bring others on the pass too.

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Soooo close…

I need $500.

*$500*.

$500 for parts to have a working kitchen drain AND have the electric/plumbing for my washer & dryer IN the laundry room.

$500 away from saving soooo much time, energy, & stress from having to get by without these things. Not having to hang up every single item including every sock, underwear, etc to dry. And then either wear wrinkled clothes or have to steam everything from hang drying. To be able to simply wash the dishes without having to empty dish pans full of water a dozen times,  OR even have the boys’ help wash dishes, since they can’t currently because of the dish pans…

Soooo close, yet still sooooo far.

Ugh….

…need to figure this out….

HOW TO EXPAND PET CAGE :-)

Christopher’s lion head rabbit, Griffin, is now a pretty big. He has been needing more space to roam, so last night I went out to get prices on a new cage, for a possible Christmas present.

I priced rabbit cages-most are not much bigger than current cage… & I even looked at large & XL wire dog cages to try to find something bigger. All range around $100+, eek!!

So. I decided to make my own! $6 worth of ‘hardward cloth’ later, Griffin now has DOUBLE the room!

Hard to see in photo, but all it takes is cutting the hardware cloth with wire cutters to the size you need & then use the tin thread that is included(holds it in the ‘roll’ shape) to tie it on.

In our case, I attached it to the cage on one side & the leg to his metal loft bed on the other. You can also round it out further & just attach to other side of cage. If you have carpet, you will want to find something to cover it, as rabbits are diggers. 😉 In our case, he has hard wood floors. Also our rabbit is litter trained, so no worries in that category either. 😉

Now, his cage can stay open for for hopping room, BUT this addition can easily be unhooked& rolled up& bunny put in just his cage if needed.

You can buy something similar at the pet store, called a pet playpen, but it will cost you around $50. Also, hardware cloth comes in several sizes. The one that I purchased is already cut to 3 feet high, so the only cutting needed is the length.  Make sure to attach in 3 places, very top of cage, lowest point of cage, & middle. (& whatever u attach it to.)

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Rough Week

This has been a rough week.
Thomas’s new school is NOT working out. To sum, they are trying to discipline out behaviors he CANT control. I have spent a lot of time this week building a team to help protect him.  I also took him to his main doctor who says she believes he is, not just on the spectrum, but actually has full blown  Autism. & not JUST Autism. So, more tests over the next few months.

Then, I had my surgery Wed… with having no one, this means I got the final kid on the final bus at 8:40am, rushed myself over & drove myself home afterward in time to start getting the kids home at 2pm. I did it. But day like that remind me how alone I really am…
And that day, Thomas ended up being treated very badly at school. Possibly the worst to date. There’s no time for rest, just jumped right into finding my son protection. No time for any ‘work’- the kind that pays the bills.

Thursday, I lost *3* of my new tires & Thomas& I had to walk home from the shop in the snow- & later I had to walk back to get it. (Yes, the day after my surgery.) HOW IS IT POSSIBLE TO KEEP GETTING NAILS IN MY TIRES?! On a positive note, repairs were covered because I got the warranty, as I somehow manage to get nails/screws in my tires several times per year.

This weekend, my new shop has SANTA & FACEPAINTING. We are also supposed to get slammed with another snow/ice storm. Temps here have hovered around 0 degrees. I am praying our pipes don’t freeze. And these snow storms hitting on the weekends- when my shop is only open on weekends- is not good. I’m thankful I don’t have to be there to run it constantly the whole weekend myself though.

Today it is already 10am & I’m struggling to get myself moving. I gota get moving! The cold effects my own health issues, causing pain and my fingers to freeze up. Not only am I behind on ‘work, work’ but also housework.  Aaaaaaaaaargh. I wish I could afford to hire help! I’m here alone in pain, my throat is really sore & swollen- knowing things are falling way behind & it all rests on my shoulders.

It has to get better. Things have got to start heading up. And life could always be worse.

2nd weekend…

Well, today finishes up our 2nd weekend with the new location. We did nearly double last week’s total, which is good if it keeps going that way.

I’ve expanded up to boys size 8 & girls size 6 in the new location.  It snowed pretty heavily here, so snow suits, snow boots, gloves, & hats did well.

So. The new shop is bringing in MORE than I was here, but so far NOT averaging enough to pay the rent there… I’m not sure what the rest of the month will hold as CHRISTMAS falls on a weekend and NEW YEARS falls on a weekend… It will take a miracle to break even this month.

The boys have been less than helpful lately. SUPER crazy hyper. And the small amount they are typically with their dad has been additional time here instead, as I get all holiday breaks this year, which overlaps his visitation time. And with snow storms, brings school snow days.  All would be great any other time, but not so good for trying to open this new place with negative amount of help & on someone else’s building access schedule…

No breaks. No help. Little sleep. Even less money.

Overall, there is nothing for me to do but keep moving forward. Only time will tell.