….. OUCH. Got home to find our 1st November Utility Bill. November- but really 1/2 October- you know, that bill… it is litterally over DOUBLE.
I have no idea what I am going to do. And it wasn’t even really COLD yet here then. And that is with only heating about 1/4 of the house. It is just now getting truly cold. And of course, there is only ME to try to do all this to bring in income, to do all the house repairs/weatherization, everything to run our household, & the full time task of the boys billion Dr & therapy appts, etc.
Also- I don’t talk about it, but I have some pretty serious health issues too. I have surgery in a couple weeks & 2 very powerful Rxs I’m supposed to take but they made me too sick to function so I just can’t. Dr isn’t putting me fully asleep so that I can get kids on bus, go in, & get myself back in time for the kids buses after school- only way I’d agree to finally do it. Also, my feet/legs cramp up & ‘fall asleep’ if I sit or lay too long, making it very hard to stand/walk until I can wake them up. So, I just try to keep moving. And the cold causes my joints to lock up in severe pain- especially my hands- like they are literally frozen. It’s scary & frustrating. All I can do is hold them in front of the heater and keep trying to move them until I can, then get back to work. It makes the high utility bill already even more frustrating.
My van really needs major work. We still need more plumbing, electric, etc. It’s Thanksgiving week and we don’t even own an oven to cook a turkey in if we had one. (We were offered one from church, but turned it down- so many don’t realize how many DON’T have luxury items like an oven… or a can opener, to utilize those “Thanksgiving Baskets”.)
And the last thing in the world I want to think about is Christmas… and the 3 birthdays immediately after (8, *10*, *13*). Now this ‘lovely’ utility bill….
I am already BEGGING God for a miracle with this new shop. We are soooooo close. This barely surviving thing is beyond old. I mean, what do you do when your utility bill is over 1/2 your monthly income?!
Ok. Deep breath. Nothing I can do but keep going, one step at a time. Some day, things will be better…