All 4 Boys…

It’s been a rough time here, especially for Michael (18) with the passing of 2 of his friends.  It has taken quite a bit to coax ham from his room at all.

So yesterday,  I pried him out and we had a family day- all 5 of us.
1st: I had a meeting at the Healing Center, where I volunteer in a supervisory role. (Thursday while volunteering,  I got 4 free tickets for Adventure Golf, and Thomas had his first perfect week at school. So, it was all great timing.)

2nd: Grabbed a small lunch& went to play at Fairfield Fun Center.  The guy was awesome enough not charge us for the 5th child’s ticket, & we had a great 18 holes.

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3rd:  With saving so much money, we then went out for a very nice dinner at The Old Speghetti Factory. The younger boys were excited to sit in a trolley, and the restaurants meals include a 3 course menu. Kids are under $6, most adult meals are around $10-$11. And again,  that’s 3 courses- or 4 if you count the limitless bread and butter too. 🙂  (the went through 2-3 loaves.)

Next, I Was introduced to the Redbox, where we bought a movie for $5, & rented 2 for less than $2 more.  So, We finished up our long day with an evening of movies.

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Thomas ate SALAD. 🙂

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All and all, it was a great day….

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Tomorrow is Never Promised…

Well, we attended 1 funeral of 2 for my 18yr old’s friends today.

They had been friends since kindergarten …  years of hanging out, sports, cub scouts…

Good kids.

It was the night of the Miami U  (my son’s school) and the UC (Ben’s school) football game.  The weather was iffy, and Michael stayed home.

After the game, on the way back to the UC campus- on the very dark, windy ‘country’ road known for tragic auto accidents- the worst occurred.

**There are 2 more in critical condition,  & 1 in stable condition.  Please pray for all of these boys & their families. Michael/we only knew the 2- Ben & Sean.**

It is difficult to think that I will never cross paths with these boys again…

Sometimes, as a mother, Ive found it easy to zone in on a ‘ finish line’– if I can just get him to  *18*… *graduated*…*off to college*…
… an end goal that sounds like completion. That time when we will ‘arrive.’

And although those are all things that we should forward to, Ive realized now that we’ve reached these milestones, it is not an ‘end.’

At least it’s not meant to be.  I’ve been in this limbo-like state since Michael has reached these milestones. He reached them, but wasn’t suddenly ‘mature’… Now what?

Now, I’m left in this odd state. Feeling guilty for feeling thankful that Michael is still here and safe.  And realizing those NEXT Milestones: College graduation, marriage, grand babies….. it’s extremely hard to fathom that his friends(& their families) will now never see those things. 

So, I sit here, rethinking a lot. Michael is 18, and thankfully makes a majority of good choices outside of the home, but I believe he needs more time to grow up. I’m going to try to relax more & see this as 2nd chance. New goals & more time for as long as God allows… Tomorrow is never promised…

I’m alive…

Life is been crazy, like usual. I’ve had trouble lately with people ( particularly single men) finding me online, & verbally bashing me& all I have done.  Everyone seem to fit the same basic profile : male, single, older than me. Upset that they have sat back & let their life pass them by.  & Now for some reason feel the need to blame me. They put down my house, my business,  me being single…etc etc.  I’m supposedly “the woman no one wants…”  & because I bought a foreclosure, the only “reason (I) have a place to live at all other than the streets is because (I) bought a house no one wanted…”

Just wow. I’m thankful I’m strong enough to realize that they’re just projecting their feelings about themselves on to me. but it’s still frustrating.  And scary. I double check our locks & make sure the dogs are in the house before dark, etc.

Anyway,  today is a looonnnggg day. 3 kids to get up& ready, 2 to get on the bus, then I take Christopher (12) for bloodwork & his formal hearing test. ( he failed the one at the doctors office)

And that is all before noon.

Then, I need to go to the the grocery store before the other ones get home from school. I still have several custom items to finish( goal is to have everything out by the end of the week.)

At 4pm each day, life gets crazy! 5 people running around, homework,  dinner, medications, baths, bedtime. Only 4-5hours…. It pays to be super organized.

Today, I just can’t wait to get Christopher’s test results back…

OH! & Christopher got a bunny! It’s a lion hwad rabbit, which will eventually be as large as our cats& litter trained (hopefully) … right now he is about 6 weeks old.

Photo of the Day:

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Things….

…are moving along. Some days are more productive than others.

The discrimination situation has moved up into the hands of Disabilities of Ohio. I’m still not sure how to handle it.

There is just a lot of extra stress every day. Anyone with multiple children can attest how much just that aspect takes. Then add all 4 chilldren’s special need requirements, toss in the 100s of feelings that brings, and that’s just the basic foundation of a general day.

Yet, I still expect so much more from myself. I’ve done little outside of 100% “mom mode” for 18 years.

Often,  those in my life tell me to ” just relax, and have some fun.”  But, it’s very difficult for me.  I’m trying to work on it though.   Because,  let’s face it, NO ONES list is ever “done”…

So, with that, here’s today fun pic. Andrew made a “bird costume ” out of bags:

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~~yesterday’s organizing successes~~

I hate chaos & mess. ( although some who know me would say I thrive and it.)

Our house has been BOTH since the move. And it’s driven me crazy. So for Labor Day, I spent 8+ hours cleaning. Non-stop.

Here are some areas that were TERRIBLE, so terrible that I couldn’t bear to take “before” photos.

Our kitchen cook area:

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This thing has large drawers, & the microwave & coffee maker stay on top+ a few decorations… photos of drawers below:

Coffee drawer. Alittle bare looking,  but its organized…

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The other drawers:

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Basically,  it’s also our “oh no we are out of time, but you still have to eat!!” Area… 😉

Kitchen still has a long way to go…

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…but the S  P  A  C  E  is beautiful!
Note, no table. Our table & chair fold up, the chairs fit inside the table, & then neatly stows away. Ahhhh space!

It’s a sensory thing. If you do not have similar sensory issues, you may not understand. 😉 (hmmm, that needs to be a future post!)

Anyway, moving on. My bedroom.  My bedroom seems to be the main congregating area in our home. Yet at the same time, it gets the most neglected. My guys bring things in but don’t take them back out, And since it’s easier to shut the door, It is not a room that guests whatever really see. BUT, again, it when there is mess & chaos OUTSIDE/around me, it feels like it’s INSIDE too. (My Thomas has opposite sensory needs. Again future post.)

More after photos:

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Everything tucked away, out of view. My bed is on cinder blocks & underneath are storage boxes for clothing, etc, instead of dressers. (This is only about one fourth of my room. the rest is TBC.)  Again I need S P A C E around me. 😉

The rest of the day was all general cleaning & laundry. But, it was great to wake up to S P A C E,  & walk into the kitchen of S P A C E… you get the point. 😉

…now only 3, 774sq ft more to go…