Another Let Down….

Yet again I trusted my grown child with responsibility, and he royally let me down.  I dont know why I keep trying!  I should know better! He was to put some stuff away while I was out- instead he waited until the last second & threw all the bins & boxes up on top of each other to make it *look* like he did. My pricey Storage bins ($20ea)- all busted& crushed beyond repair.

THEN the $400 in ingredients I invested in so he could make & sell food at the farmers markets?? He LOST it, & we had to find all that, and then my tent was GONE… you cant be in the Market without a 10×10 tent.

So, during the 1hrs I was supposed to be preparing my goods, I instead was hunting through shattered bins & ruined keepsakes, looking for the tent– finally found it– buried under stuff he was responsible for putting away! And by then- not enough time left to fulfil *my* responsiblies. *I* had to be the one to email, take blame, & apologize. *MY* business is the one he drags through the mud over & over.  I dont know how much longer I can deal with this.

He is NOT going to grow up until he crashes & burns. I’ve tried everything.

18 on the 29th, & he’s never been able to hold a job- & you know what he tells everyone?! That *I* ” Won’t let him work” & he has blamed ME for being fired every time! Thankfully,  I started calling these previous employers, because the guilt and confusion left on me was nearly unbearable.  & every single one of them said it was HIM only putting in a 10% job & not listening and following directions and doing what he was told to do!

*BUT* every day he tells me he doesn’t have any issues but me- & how it’s not his fault….

His case manager says 1/1 is “learned”- he watched all the blame in the household be placed on me and me accept it. AND 1/2 me allowing him to treat me terrible.  He’s starting to use body language to threaten me again now too… I haven’t let it work. He says the police won’t do anything to him for it– another learned/witnessed behavior…

I spent 13years in horrible circumstances because I thought that it’d be worse- impossible – to survive outside it….. am I doing that again??? Would things be better or worse with him moved out? Should I keep putting up with all this because HE may fail on his own? Can I go on if he’s not here? … if I know me pushing him out on his own causes him trouble & pain?  Can I survive either decision?  My friends’ advice has been: tough love- send him out.

I cant let our only source of income – my business – fail any further due to picking up the aftermath of HIS choices…. but can I allow him to fail?

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