single by choice… ??!!!

I hear often that Im “single by choice”… although kind of true, this term in unfair!

Yeah, I will not “settle” & date some low life scum bag just to be “unsingle.” 

BUT really, what single, well educated, safe, honest guy would take ****aaaallllll this**** on??!!

And it’s heart breaking. I have no problem attracting the male species, and good looking, successful ones at that. 
But then…..
…. then, they ask ” so how many kids do you have?”  And there’s no way around that… it INSTANTLY haults all conversation. I Immediately and automatically get stereotyped into “ghetto welfare mama” class.  NOTHING I have accomplished in my life matters at that point. (& in 3 1/2yrs, I have never gotten to the point to even bring up they have special needs.)

If in person, I get things like “oh…wow… I didn’t realize what time it was, I have to go walk my dogs…” their entire body language changes towards me. If they don’t run, then they go from a gentleman to trying to treat me like a $10 prostitute, when I’m the one leaving either way, crying all the way home.

(I don’t even kiss on a 1st date and I don’t believe in sex out of marriage.)

and on the phone I get things like ” um…uh… I have another call coming in I will have to call you back….”

and if by text, they just don’t reply any further from there.

AND IF A “FRIEND” Wants to set me up with someone- They are always At least 50, bald, overweight, and I should be lucky if they ever even  finished high school.

I just turned 33! I am well educated! WHY is this so hard?!

It doesn’t matter how interested they were up to that point. They run for cover- and honestly, if they don’t it’s a very bad sign. Primarily that means they’re married and trying to cheat….or a con artist thinking I have money because I have my own business. Yes. These things have happened to me more than once…

Ive tried ” I was married for over a decade” & ” my children are all older, not babies” before answering the question…

Nothing matters. My oldest son wants me to start telling people I have 3 kids instead of 4 since he’s turning 18- he thinks that will help me… that’s crushing too. No. He will always be my son, regardless of how old he is! I will always have 4 boys, regardless if there are 10 or 50!

So, I venture on alone. I’m Not sure which hurts worse…



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