Today is my birthday …

…One of 2 of the most depressing days of the year…

Mothers day & my birthday.  Every year, I swear my boys go out of their way to not listen or behave at all on these days.

( But at least it’s not the other way around)

The biggest days that I look back & see all the sacrifices Ive made for them. & kids are kids. They don’t care. At least not now. Maybe some day, but not while they are kids. Or even as young adults. I know because I was young once.

As an adult now, I understand wanting to give up & run away. (Although I still don’t understand actually ever doing it.)

& my birthday also marks the halfway point of the year- another year Ive promised myself things that I haven’t followed through on- like a break.  A real break- not a break from work to do more work, which is what my “breaks” consist of. (Ex: I break from boutique work, to clean& paint etc)

We were supposed to be at our volunteer place right now- but I’m still trying to get these guys out of bed. Michael got up for a minute, went down stairs & started yelling & throwing a fit because “we have no plates!!” 
Nearly 18 & yet he can’t WASH a plate, or PACK the rest of the dishes to move them over here- but he can throw a fit& go lay back down. On my birthday. Over plates. Yeah….

Oh. And get angry I cant afford a stove/oven, so I cant BAKE them a cake- he threw a fit yesterday saying “your birthday is not all about you!” when my reply to this was that I could BUY them a cake…

THEIR Birthdays are all completely about them. They get parties & cake & whatever they want to do. I make sure their day is special.

Yeah. My birthday & mothers day. The 2 days I want to crawl under my bed & cry. But I refuse to give up on my kids. I know what that feels like. No one should have to endure it- especially those who didn’t choose to be brought into this world.

Ok. Well. We are an hour late for our volunteer work & I need to stop pouting, drag kids outa bed & get out the door!


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