Ups & Downs

It is difficult sometimes lately not to look at the negatives.  I’m not much of a “risk taker”- and yet my entire life is one GIANT “risk”…

I mean, I’m running a household of 5, alone, on up to $1300/month- on a GOOD month.

I have 4 “differ-abled “boys. A teen and pre-teen (need I say more?), that I am still working on simple “self-care” lessons, like washing dishes. A teen that *should* be moving out in July, but honestly he is just not ready. I’m hoping to realizes this and chooses a college closer to home. I do not want to watch him crash and burn and the thought rips my heart out. He’s learning and it won’t be forever… I just pray he will stick close to home for another year and learn how to care for himself more before stepping out.  Today, he took the garbage the the curb and made a pot of coffee all by himself!  And, the pre-teen… well… he is a pre-teen, hormones and all. (lol)

Thomas. Thomas is a lot of work. Today alone, they were all tardy because Thomas refused to get up, then basically decided it was a good day to turn himself into cement and not move… he is about 75lbs now, but has some super power to make himself weigh 10X that when he decides to dig his heels in. I can’t really even lift him… I basically have to wrap my arms around his chest, his back toward me, and “drag” him (for lack of better explanation).  I am literally sweating and out of air by the time I get him downstairs, to the front door for school. OH. And 1/2 of these episodes, he is kicking, biting, and thrashing around, grab.  AT LEAST he doesn’t fight taking his medications anymore. He takes 3 every morning and 2 every night.  He can’t swallow any sort of pills, so I have to crush them and mix them into his liquids meds.  It takes a lot of effort to say the least. But, on his good days, he has a heart of gold and can be loving and kind.

Andrew is generally pretty helpful and sweet. He is the most “typical” functioning and rarely is much more than a typical 7 yr old fit.  He refuses to sleep ion his own bed and is usually attached to my hip.  Probably because most of my time gets pulled into his brothers’ issues unfortunately.

And right now, I am scrabbling. LOTS of meetings, etc on top of regular “work” stuff. I must figure out which groups and agencies are “real” and will be helpful and which are scams.  I must obviously SEW like crazy, and I must get my business plan done NOW.  I was up past midnight last night working on my business plan, as I spent all day (14hrs) sewing yesterday. I’m off to a meeting NOW for the next 2-3hrs, then get kids from school, then a small window to feed the kids etc etc before I head off to class for the evening.

Today is the last day of school before spring break- which I have put little thought into- and also I haven’t thought out easter yet either… though loking VERY FORWRD to letting hte boys sleep  in and no morning off-to-school fights. 😉






Lunch meeting went well.  I passed out a bunch or business cards. Got a lead on a potential SBA loan…  I will speak to them tomorrow for more information- BUT can’t do much of anything until my official business place is complete.  It is due next Wednesday(for a “grade”) but now, needed IMMEDIATELY basically.  EVERYONE is waiting for it!  Kickstarter.ocm,, SBA, etc etc etc- Ive lost count lol- just everyone.

Going to put the assistant to work, and the kids with a movie of something, and work on it until I have to leave for class….


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